


Matchmaking: A guide by Marlene Mckinnon (A Marauders Chat fic)

by caramelomacchiato



Series: The Marauders (Modern School AU) [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter - The Marauders
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Andromeda is very Pansexual and a good sister, Background Original Character Relationships, Demi-sexual Narcissa, F/F, F/M, Frank is a good friend, Good Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Good Narcissa Black Malfoy, Good Severus Snape, His girlfriend is called Penny, Lucius is the worst, M/M, Marauders' Era, Marlene McKinnon is very gay and Remus' wingwoman, Marlene is a bit of a fangirl, Marlene is a proud friend, Multi, No Snape hate here folks, Peter is a good asexual heteromantic boi, Polyamory, Post-Jily, Regulus Black is a bean, Regulus is a cat person, Remus is a werewolf everyone knows and that's okay, Remus is best friends with the girls, Remus is very gay for Sirius but denies it, Sirius flirts with Remus ALOT, Tonks is mentioned, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 04:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11890446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelomacchiato/pseuds/caramelomacchiato
Summary: The girls are determined to matchmake Sirius and Remus. James and Peter are confused. Frank is tired.Lucius is an ass. Everyone helps Narcissa. Andromeda and Bellatrix are good big sisters.Marlene is very gay and the gang find her some girlfriends.Poor Snape has a crush on Lucius. Lucius is a homophobic ass. Regulus has a crush on Snape. Marlene 'helps'.Also known as the Marauders Chat fic no one asked for.





	Matchmaking: A guide by Marlene Mckinnon (A Marauders Chat fic)

**Author's Note:**

> Chat Names:
> 
> -perfectprefect™ (James Potter)  
> -gingergenius (Lily Evans)  
> -backinblack (Sirius Black)  
> -swearwolf (Remus Lupin)  
> -neverrefusefreefood (Peter Pettigrew)  
> -pennywhistlesmagicalmenagerie (Penny Thompson, Peter's girlfriend)  
> -aceofalices (Alice Longbottom)  
> -tobefrankwithyou (Frank Longbottom)  
> -thequeenofgryffindor™ (Marlene Mckinnon)  
> -thegazellemeadowes (Dorcas Meadowes)  
> -iwillravenclawyoubitch (Emma Morgan, Future girlfriends with Dorcas and Marlene)  
> -luckyblackcat (Regulus Black)  
> -ihatesnakeu (Severus Snape)  
> -multicolouredmenace (Andromeda Black)  
> -badassbitch™ (Bellatrix Black)  
> -thesnakequeen (Narcissa Black)  
> -thecrowking (Jack Crow, Remus' friend)  
> -thesparrowprince (Finley Sparrow, Jack's boyfriend)

12:43 PM

-perfectprefect™ created a chat-

-perfectprefect™ added gingergenious, backinblack, swearwolf and neverrefusefreefood to the chat-

-perfectprefect™ named the chat ‘2 couples and a freeloader’-

neverrefusefreefood: hey!

-neverrefusefreefood named chat ‘marauders’-

swearwolf: We aren’t even dating!

perfectprefect™: who said i was talking about you, moony

swearwolf: Well, you named the chat ‘2 couples and a freeloader’ and there’s five people in the chat. Now taking into account that you and Lily are an item, I hardly think you were suggesting Wormtail was cheating on Penny with Padfoot.

neverrefusefreefood: wait what!?

backinblack: Why? Are you jealous Moony?

swearwolf: Oh shut up, you prat!

gingergenius: If it makes any difference Remus, Marlene says and I quote ‘Remmy and Black suit each other, my wee werewolf son needs a good stronk boyf riend’

backinblack: Thanks for your blessing Marls! ;)

-gingergenius added thequeenofgryffindor™ to the chat-

swearwolf: Marls, why? And Sirius?

backinblack: Yes?

swearwolf: Shut up.

thequeenofgryffindor™ : Hey! If you’re my wingman, I’m your wingwoman! (PS. Peter, Penny wants me to remind you about your date!)

neverrefusefreefood: tell her I’m on my way now!

thequeenofgryffindor™: Sure Petey, no worries!

neverrefusefreefood: thank Marls, you’re the best! 

thequeenofgryffindor™: I know, Pete, I know.

-neverrefusefreefood has logged off-

perfectprefect™: he just took running! :)

thequeenofgryffindor™: Ah, straight people. 

swearwolf: Pretty much. Sigh.

perfectprefect™: hey! i take offense to that!

gingergenius: They’re just teasing James! You have to admit Pete and Penny are pretty cute though.

thequeenofgryffindor™: True. As would Wolfstar be. :D

swearwolf: I swear to god. Marlene Ann Mckinnon.

perfectprefect™: wolfstar? what’s that?

thequeenofgryffindor™: Yeah! Wolfstar! Sirius x Remus! You know! Their ship name!

Perfectprefect™: what’s a ‘ship’? why are you talking about boats? sirius x remus? im so confused help

swearwolf: JAMES! NO!

gingergenius: Oh good lord! Now you’ve done it, James! ^^’

perfectprefect™: done what?

backinblack: We’re all screwed! Nice knowing you guys! 

perfectprefect™: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!?!

thequeenofgryffindor™: Come, you have much to learn, my child.

-gingergenius, backinblack and swearwolf have logged off-

perfectprefect™: GUYS???

thequeenofgryffindor™: Ignore those peasants. Let’s take this to a private chat.

03:34 PM

-neverrefusefreefood has logged on-

neverrefusefreefood: hey guys! me and Pen went to Hogsmeade! it was great!  
neverrefusefreefood: guys?

**Author's Note:**

> Chat Names:
> 
> -perfectprefect™ (James Potter)  
> -gingergenius (Lily Evans)  
> -backinblack (Sirius Black)  
> -swearwolf (Remus Lupin)  
> -neverrefusefreefood (Peter Pettigrew)  
> -pennywhistlesmagicalmenagerie (Penny Thompson, Peter's girlfriend)  
> -aceofalices (Alice Longbottom)  
> -tobefrankwithyou (Frank Longbottom)  
> -thequeenofgryffindor™ (Marlene Mckinnon)  
> -thegazellemeadowes (Dorcas Meadowes)  
> -iwillravenclawyoubitch (Emma Morgan, Future girlfriends with Dorcas and Marlene)  
> -luckyblackcat (Regulus Black)  
> -ihatesnakeu (Severus Snape)  
> -multicolouredmenace (Andromeda Black)  
> -badassbitch™ (Bellatrix Black)  
> -thesnakequeen (Narcissa Black)  
> -thecrowking (Jack Crow, Remus' friend)  
> -thesparrowprince (Finley Sparrow, Jack's boyfriend)
> 
> Thanks for reading the first chapter guys! I hope you enjoyed it! Constructive criticism is appreciated (if you can give constructive criticism on chat fics that is).


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